Parenthood
by Scription Addict
Summary: This follows on from All God's children, and starts at the birth of Jess's baby, so it slightly over laps a little. This will be about Boyd and Grace's home life and not work related, but the rest of the team may feature as the story progresses.
1. A Baby is Born

**I own nothing, just an imagination.**

**Parenthood**

Real life dealt me a massive and sad blow recently in the loss of my beloved Mum, so I haven't written anything in what seems like ages, but this has been sat written on my PC for ages so I thought I'd post it and see what you thought. This follows on from All God's children, and starts at the birth of Jess's baby, so it slightly over laps a little. This will be about Boyd and Grace's home life and not work related, but the rest of the team may feature as the story progresses.

**Chapter one – A Baby Is Born**

In the hospital delivery suite Jessica was screaming as the contractions intensified, she was still panting, and Grace was holding her hand and breathing with her as they'd practised in ante-natal classes.

"Argh, I want to push!" she shouted at the midwife.

"Not yet Jess okay."

"Try and breathe through it Jess okay, just like we practised."

"Argh, it hurts Grace, I want it to stop hurting."

"I know you do and it will all be over soon, just a little bit longer."

The nurse then interrupted them, "Okay Jess when you feel the next contraction, I want you to push down."

Jess did as she was told, and nearly screamed the roof off the building in the process, it didn't take too much longer for the baby to be born, and within a short time Grace was holding this tiny baby girl in her arms.

After the staff had been made aware of the situation, that Grace and Peter were to be the legal guardians of the baby, and they knew that everything was above board and legal, they automatically treated Grace as the mother, she gave the baby her first feed, and changed her first nappy, Peter seemed to spend all his time with Jess, and by the time they brought the baby home from hospital he still hadn't held her, finding an excuse not to each time the baby was offered to him for a hold.

With the baby at home, Grace was taking time off work, although it wasn't officially maternity leave, she was off for a couple of months whilst they settled into a routine, at which time she would return to work as and when they needed her, Peter was also off for a couple of weeks.

They had decorated a nursery for her, but had decided to keep the crib in the bedroom with them for a couple of months until things settled down.

With the baby asleep in her car seat, Grace headed to the kitchen to make some tea, just as she picked up the kettle she heard her crying, "Grace the babies crying." Peter called from the other room.

"Can you pick her up?"

He looked at her in her car seat hesitating, before picking the car seat up and gently rocking it by the handle, Grace stood in the doorway of the kitchen watching him, she was aware of the fact that he hadn't picked the baby up or held her yet, she had an idea it was connected to the death of their daughter, but she didn't know how to speak to him about it, she didn't want to push him in to anything. She walked into the lounge and placed two mugs of tea on the table for them, the baby was still crying, "She's probably hungry" Grace said, he put the car seat down and Grace lifted Zoe out and held her in her arms, "Can you get her a bottle please?"

"Yeah sure." As he left the room Grace put a bib around the baby, he returned a short time later with the bottle for her, "Here you go," he said handing it to Grace.

"Do you want to do the honours?" she asked him

"No it's okay, you're better at it than me." he said pretending to be engrossed in the TV programme that was on.

"How do you know, you haven't tried."

"No Grace."

"She has eyes just like yours you know, dark eyes, she could pass for yours easily, and when she cries she has little lines on her forehead like a little old man."

He smiled at her "Does she?"

"Yeah look." Grace got up and sat next to him with the baby, the baby stopped crying as soon as the bottle was in her mouth, causing the little lines on her forehead to disappear.

He smiled as he watched the baby, "She's beautiful."

"Peter why haven't you held her yet?"

"Give me a chance she's only a couple of days old."

"Most Dads would be chomping at the bit to hold their new born baby."

"I'm gonna go and grab a shower." he replied, taking his cup of tea with him.

Grace let him go, she didn't want to push him, it would all be okay in the end she knew that, he just needed time, she sat and fed the baby talking to her as she did so, "What are we going to do with your Daddy Zoe eh? He hasn't noticed how beautiful you are yet, but he will, and then he'll be fighting to get to you, you'll be a Daddy's girl won't you?"

With Zoe fed, winded and changed Grace put her down to sleep in the Moses basket in the lounge, and sat watching TV, Peter joined her a short time later, and she decided to speak to him again about his lack of contact with the baby. He sat on the sofa beside Grace, and put his arm around her, she looked at him and he lent forward and kissed her.

"Peter, why won't you hold her?"

"I told you Grace, I just haven't had a chance."

"You find an excuse every time, you walk away."

"What do you want to eat tonight, do you want me to cook?" he replied changing the subject again,

"There you go again, changing the subject."

"I just need time okay." he replied sternly.

"For what?"

"To get used to playing happy families."

"What are you afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid of anything."

"You still think Emma died because you did something wrong?"

"What if it happens again Grace?"

"There is nothing to suggest that it will, Zoe is a healthy baby."

"So was Emma, I go over it in my mind again and again and again, how I put her down, did I wrap her blanket too tight, did I lay her the wrong way, was she too hot, was she ill and I never noticed."

"You need to stop torturing yourself, Emma was a healthy little girl you're right, but sometimes healthy little babies just stop breathing in their sleep, no reason that can be found, nothing that can be blamed, and for the parents, no rational explanation as to what happened, that, and a life time of wondering what went wrong, but we can't not love Zoe because we're frightened we'll lose her."

"I do love her, I love her so much, I'm just so afraid it will happen again, that if I touch her..."

Grace took his face in her hands, "Don't do this to yourself, there is no need, you were not to blame for Emma's death, Zoe's not ours biologically, so even if it was a genetic problem that they never found back then, there is no reason to think it will happen again, no more than we thought it would when we brought Emma home" Grace moved her thumb to wipe away a stray tear that fell from his eye "I never thought we'd have this chance again, especially not at our age, but we have, and I am so happy, I have you, and I have Zoe, and although she's not here at the moment I have Jess as well, now will you hold your daughter please?"

"It seems a shame to wake her up."

"Fine, the next time she cries it's down to you."


	2. Forcing the issue

**Chapter 2 – Forcing the Issue**

It was 5am two days later, and Grace was exhausted, despite their conversation Peter had still not picked the baby up, Grace was seeing to everything, feeding, changing, winding, bathing, every time she cried Grace got up to see to her, and she was shattered because of it, so she knew it was time to force the issue.

Peter was sleeping with his back to Grace, pretending he was still asleep and hadn't heard the baby cry, Grace got up and lifted Zoe from her cot, she rested her on her shoulder for a minute before the next thought occurred to her, she gently placed Zoe on the bed where she had just been, before calling him.

"Peter, are you awake?"

"Mmm." he replied.

"Zoe's on the bed, I need you to keep an eye on her while I get her a bottle from downstairs." Grace knew that Zoe would be wailing again within seconds, so she quickly exited the room, waiting on the landing for a short time to make sure he really was awake, and wouldn't roll onto the baby.

"No, Grace, I'll get the bottle!" he called after her but she didn't reply, pretending to be out of earshot despite the fact that she wasn't, Peter turned over and laid on his side, his elbow propping up his head, the baby laying on her back next to him, making baby noises, her forehead began to crease up and he knew she was gonna start crying.

He used his finger to gently tickle her tummy, "Hey sprout don't cry" he said trying to pacify her so she wouldn't cry, outside the bedroom door Grace could hear him talking to her, so she left them to it and went down stairs. "Mummy will be back any minute." He continued. Downstairs Grace made herself a cup of tea and sat in the lounge, she knew he wasn't careless enough to leave her unattended so the only way he could speak to Grace was to pick up the baby.

In the bedroom Zoe was wailing on full volume, and Peter was still trying to pacify her without picking her up, but having no success, "GRACE!" he shouted "GRACE!" he continued, "The baby's crying."

She didn't respond, she just sat on the sofa and drank her cup of tea, Zoe's bottle was ready, she was just waiting for him to pick her up.

He walked to the bedroom door keeping Zoe in his sight "GRACE, the baby's crying."

Again she ignored his calls.

Eventually he knew he'd have to give in, he put one hand under the baby's head and the other under her body and gently lifted her off the bed, he instinctively raised her to his chest holding her against his body, and slowly bouncing her up and down, "Shush" he said speaking to her softly, keeping his hands against her and holding her tightly, one hand at the back of her neck supporting her head, he walked out of the bedroom and down the stairs still holding her, and finding Grace now fast asleep on the sofa.

"I think Mummy set me up" he said quietly walking past Grace and into the kitchen, he transferred Zoe to the crook of his arm, and tested her bottle temperature against his skin, he gently placed the teat into her mouth and she instantly suckled on it, "There we go, is that what you want?" He said watching as she drank from the bottle, stopping every now and again to take a breath, he walked back into the lounge where Grace was still sat on the sofa asleep, he stooped down in front of her, still feeding the baby as he did so, "You can open your eyes now Grace." he said.

Grace opened one eye and looked at him, "Worked though, didn't it?"

"Mmm" he replied, "Sorry, I've not been doing my share, you must be shattered."

"It's okay, everything will be okay in the end, and you look very at home doing that." She replied, he leant over and kissed her, a long lingering kiss, before sitting back on the sofa with her, baby Zoe still sucking on her bottle.

"About the nappy." he said, but Grace interrupted him before he could finish.

"Sorry Peter, I think it's your turn." Grace replied, "I'm going back to bed." she walked back up the stairs leaving him to it.

Once the bottle was empty he placed it on the table in front of him, he sat Zoe on his knee, one hand supporting her tummy whilst the other gently rubbed her back to wind her, after a couple of burps, he removed her bib and returned her to his shoulder, again holding her against him, he walked back up to the nursery and lay her on the changing mat, he undid her baby grow and then proceeded to remove her nappy, taking a step back as the contents of the nappy hit the air. "Oh wow," he said, covering his nose with the back of his hand, "How can something so small and beautiful produce something that bad," he gritted his teeth and continued to change her making sure she was clean and dry before putting a clean baby grow on her, he then again placed her on his shoulder to get her back to sleep, walking her up and down the landing. By the time she'd dozed off again, he didn't want to put her down, feeling quite at home with her in his arms, he walked back into his and Grace's room to see Grace fast asleep in bed, this time for real, he placed Zoe in her crib, she stirred slightly as she went down, he stood and waited for her to settle, watching her sleep for a few minutes, before getting back into bed. As he lay down, Grace turned over and snuggled into him, she loved to sleep in his arms, she always had, he kissed the top of her head, before settling down to sleep himself.


	3. Missing

**Chapter 3 - Missing**

Peter's two weeks went by really quickly, and it was his first day back at work, he lay in bed like a sulking child not wanting to go to school watching Grace as she fed Zoe, "Maybe I should retire, we could both stay home with her full time."

"Peter you'd be bored in a month."

"I wouldn't, I'm gonna miss out on everything whilst I am at work."

"You'll get back in the swing of things in no time, and Zoe will still be here when you get home in the evenings."

"But that's just it, I'm always late home, you know what it's like, work takes over, its okay when we're both there, but now you're here, things will be different."

"Well then it's all the more reason not to live at the office. You've just got post-holiday blues that's all, we all get it, one day back and it'll be like you've never been away."

"That's what worries me."

Grace smiled at him, and sat Zoe up to wind her, she gurgled and burped causing him to laugh at her, he poked her tummy and smiled at her, "You want Daddy to stay at home don't you?" She gave a little smile, "Grace she smiled at me."

"She has wind Peter."

"No she smiled at me, honestly."

"You really need to get back to work."

"Thanks Grace, that's great, that's really, really great." He got out of bed and walked out of the bedroom sulking.

"Peter, wait, I didn't mean it like that" she looked at Zoe "I think Daddy is in a strop." She put her on her shoulder and headed downstairs, Peter was in the kitchen making a cup of tea, Grace walked in behind him, "I didn't mean it like that Peter, it's been great all being home together, but we both knew it wasn't forever."

He turned around and leant back on the work surface looking at her, running his hand through his hair and sighing before he spoke, "I know, sorry, I just feel like times moving too fast, I've just got used to taking care of her, and now it's time to go back to work."

"Do you want a cuddle?"

He put his arms around her and pulled her to him, with the baby in-between them, Grace snuggled into his shoulder for a couple of minutes, before pulling back and looking at him, his beautiful dark eyes staring into hers, he lent forward and kissed her, "I love you, both of you." He said kissing her again.

"We love you too." she replied, her head resting against his.

"Grace she needs changing." he said after a few minutes, the smell becoming a little over powering.

After he'd left for work Grace spent the morning pottering about, she put Zoe down to sleep, and had a bath, before bathing Zoe, and getting her ready to go out, she dressed her in a little outfit that Frankie had bought for her, little denim dungarees with pink edges and a pink jumper that went underneath, she put a little pink jacket over the top and then loaded her into the car seat, she drove them both to the CCHQ. Inside they were warmly greeted by the team, Boyd was in his office, and he hadn't seen her come in so she knocked gently on his office door.

"Come in." he shouted without looking up, she opened the office door.

"Lunch time." she said whilst shaking a paper bag.

"Hi, what are you doing here?"

"We thought you might like some lunch."

"Where is she?"

Grace walked into the office and closed the door behind her, "Frankie and Mel have kidnapped her" she walked in and sat on the sofa in his office, "So how's your day going?"

"It's okay." He replied getting up from his desk and sitting beside her on the sofa, "It just got a lot better though." They sat chatting for about five minutes when they heard the sound of Zoe crying, he instantly got up to find her, as he did the office door opened.

Frankie walked in, "I think this little miss wants her Mummy," she said carrying Zoe in her arms.

"Thanks Frankie." Boyd replied taking the baby from her and sitting back down on the sofa with her, Frankie smiled as she turned around, seeing Boyd cooing over this tiny little girl was such a stark contrast from the Boyd that they knew.

"Do you want me to take her?"

"No it's okay I've got her."

"Careful she doesn't make a mess on your shirt."

"On second thoughts maybe you should take her." He handed her back to Grace, "Don't think baby sick is a good look is it?"

"Nope." Grace sat and ate lunch with him, and chatted with the rest of the team before getting ready to take the baby back home, as she strapped Zoe back in her car seat Boyd's phone rang.

"Boyd," he said. "Speaking!" Grace listened intently to the one sided conversation as Boyd agreed and responded to whoever was on the phone, as he hung up Grace was about to leave, "Grace wait, close the door."

"What is it, what's wrong?"

"That was the therapeutic community where Jess is/" Grace's face turned more serious.

"Oh god, what's happened, is she okay?"

"She's walked out, sometime last night, her room was empty this morning, she put us down as her next of kin and they wanted to let us know in case she came back home."

"I thought it was secure, that she couldn't just leave."

"They said there are ways; I guess she must have found one."

"Did they say why, what sort of state was she in?"

"They said she's been distressed, but they don't know where or why she's gone."

"Oh great, I'd better get back home in case she turns up."

"Yeah, I'll call you if I find out anything" Boyd carried Zoe to the car and strapped her in before kissing Grace Goodbye.

Back home there was no sign of Jess, Grace put the baby down to sleep, and sat and waited, continuously trying Jess's phone, leaving voicemail messages for her, by the time Boyd had returned from work they had still heard nothing. Boyd ate with Grace and then went to kings cross, it's where she would have come into if she'd got the train back to London, he took a copy of the only photo they had of her, so he could show it and ask around if anyone had seen her, they were worried sick about her and to make matters worse they had no idea what her state of mind was, where she might go, or what she might do.

Boyd had been at Kings Cross about an hour, when he saw a couple of faces he recognised, Frankie and Mel, "What are you doing here?"

"We dropped by the house to see if you'd heard anything and Grace told us where you were, so we thought we'd give you a hand." Frankie said.

"Spence is here too, he's just parking the car." Mel added.

Boyd smiled at them, "Thanks guys, I really appreciate this." They had already made copies of Jess's photo, so between them they covered the station and the surrounding area, they spent the next three hours going over the same ground, and got nowhere, so Boyd decided to call it a night, he thanked them for their help and told them to go home, before he did the same.

He turned his key in the lock, and before he'd even got through the door Grace was in the hallway she smiled at him, "I thought you may have been Jess."

He shook his head "Sorry, we've had no luck either." Grace broke down in tears.

"Where is she Peter, she can't cope on her own."

"I know she can't, but we'll find her and we'll bring her home, I promise Grace." He held her as she cried. Neither of them slept that night, waiting and hoping that she'd turn up or contact them, but she didn't.


	4. Waiting and Hoping

**Waiting and Hoping**

The next couple of days passed by in a haze for Grace and Peter, they spent their time either waiting by the phone or out scouring the streets for Jess, she had not contacted them, and had not been seen in the area.

They had now reported her as a missing person, and the police said that her mobile had not been used and that she had not withdrawn any money from her bank account, the police couldn't do anything more than they had, Jess was an adult, and was not related to Grace and Peter, they had only taken it this far as a favour to him.

The team were helping all they could, either out looking for her and putting up posters, or babysitting whilst Grace and Peter were out looking for her. Grace didn't like leaving Zoe, and had only done so twice, but she was worried sick about Jess, she was so fragile, she would never cope on the streets.

They sat in the lounge, it was now four days since Jess had walked out of the therapeutic community, and no one had seen her or heard from her, as he looked at Grace he realised how tired she looked, she'd hardly slept in the last four days, that on top of looking after a new born baby was really taking its toll on her, she looked exhausted, and he was worried about her health as well as everything else.

As he sat thinking the baby monitor relayed the sound of Zoe crying from upstairs, for the first time since she'd been born Grace visibly sighed before sitting forward. Boyd placed his hand gently on her back, and she sat still for a moment "You look exhausted."

She smiled in response, "Maybe we are too old for this, perhaps you were right all along."

"What?"

"You heard me Peter; I said perhaps you were right all along."

"You're tired Grace that's all, you're worried about Jess, and coping with being a new Mum at the same time."

"Yeah and at my age, who am I kidding?"

"That is not what I said, and it certainly isn't what I meant. Grace you treated Jess like a daughter, you invited her into your home and helped her cope with some very intense feelings, you patched up her wounds, and held her when she cried, now she's missing, and obviously your worried about her, I understand that, and at the same time you're looking after our little girl who needs you constantly, it's not easy, come here." He pulled her into his embrace.

Zoe continued to cry, and Grace pulled away from Peter's arms, "I need to get the baby." She said wiping her eyes as she pulled away.

"Stay here I'll get her." He got up and headed up stairs, he clearly forgot the baby monitor was still switched on, and Grace could hear him talking to Zoe.

"Hey little one, come here." she stopped crying for a moment, just a feint grizzle now and again as he tried to get her back to sleep, "Mummy's tired, so you need to be a good girl and go back to sleep okay." She could hear him gently shushing her, and then speaking again, "we need you to be a good girl so we can find Jessica." This time his voice sounded different, it was higher and emotional, she realised he was crying, sniffing and trying to mask the sound.

Grace walked up the stairs, and found him gently rocking Zoe in his arms, tears streaming down his face, she took the baby from him and put her back in the crib, before putting her arms around him, he cried in her arms and they ended up laying on their bed, Grace holding him in her arms

"Where the hell is she Grace, why is she doing this to us?"

"She doesn't know what she's doing, she's obviously not thinking straight, in her mind she's not doing anything to anyone, she maybe in a psychotic state, she may not be aware of anything."

"But what if we never find her?"

"We can't think like that, we have to believe that we will find her, it's only been four days, we will find her."

"I'm sorry, I'm supposed to be strong for you, and instead I break down and you comfort me."

"It's okay, we're here for each other, that's what matters." As she looked at him, he kissed her, she responded, and they started kissing passionately, almost tearing each other's clothes off, they made love, angrily, energetically and passionately, the kind of sex that everyone needs sometimes, but no one wants all the time, taking out their pent up frustrations on each other.

A while later they lay naked and breathless holding each other, kissing softly, a stark contrast to the way they'd made love, "Get some sleep," he said kissing her and then leaving her in bed, he redressed himself and then picked Zoe up and took her with him so she wouldn't wake Grace up.

Grace lay in bed and tried to sleep, but her mind constantly wondered to Jess, where she was and how she was living, whether she needed her, she thought of her as a daughter now, just as she did with Zoe, and she couldn't help but worry about her. She pulled the covers around her and wiped the tears that fell softly from her eyes, eventually exhaustion got the better of her and she fell asleep, Peter left her alone, he knew she needed to rest.

While she slept upstairs he stayed downstairs with Zoe, when she woke up he carried her around with him as he prepared her bottle, talking her through what he was doing as though she were paying attention to him. Telling her how many scoops of powder he put into the bottle and how long he heated it up for.

He looked at her as she yawned, "this is intriguing stuff isn't it? Now it's ready, but we have to test it, like this see," he gently squeezed some of the formula on his arm, "Ouch, it's too hot, look see it burnt my skin, you see that" he raised his arm for her to look at, Zoe's forehead started to crease up signalling she was going to cry. "Don't start all that crying stuff okay, it won't be long." He carried her back to the lounge, and sat down with her, giving her the bottle once it was cool enough, she guzzled at it hurriedly, "Ah so that's what you want is it Miss" he continued to talk to her whilst she had her bottle and then winded and changed her, he was used to it all now, even the nappies didn't bother him, once she was ready to go back down, he put her in her Moses basket and then sat and softly talked to her until she went off to sleep, he then laid on the sofa, deciding to stay there for the night so Grace could sleep.


	5. Tempus Fugit

**Tempus Fugit**

The four days that Jess had been missing soon turned into four weeks, and then five weeks, they had heard nothing, Peter continued to scour the homeless areas of London, with a photo of Jess, whilst Grace spent her time looking after Zoe, but they were getting nowhere, and the time she was away seemed to be flying by.

At 4.30pm Friday afternoon, Peter sat at his desk, they were at the end of the case they had been working on, and he felt exhausted, his mobile rang, he didn't recognise the number, "Boyd!" He answered it abruptly.

"Hi this is Greenwich police station, is that Peter Boyd?"

"This is Detective Super Intendant Peter Boyd."

"Oh, right, um, well sir we have your daughter in custody."

"My daughter?" He said enquiringly.

"Yes sir, Ms Jessica Boyd."

"Oh god Jess," he said with relief, "Okay, is she under arrest?"

"Yes sir, she is under arrest for theft of a motor vehicle."

"I will be with you in thirty minutes okay, please don't let her go until I get there."

"Okay, we won't sir."

Boyd phoned Grace as soon as he ended the call to the custody officer, "Grace I've had a call from Greenwich police station, they arrested Jess this afternoon, they have her in custody."

"Is she okay?"

"I don't know, I'm just about to go and get her."

"I need to come with you."

"You can't, who'll look after Zoe?"

"I need to be there for her Peter."

"Okay okay, I'll come and get you and ask Mel to come and mind Zoe for half an hour."

"Okay great."

Peter and Grace drove to the police station in silence, once there they were shown into an interview room and asked to wait, after a short time a uniformed police officer came into talk to them, "Hi Detective Superintendent Boyd, I'm Sergeant Donaldson" he extended his hand and Boyd responded shaking his hand

"This is my wife, Dr Grace Foley."

"Hello, please sit down; we arrested your daughter Jessica this afternoon."

"Jess isn't our daughter, she lived with us for a while, but we're not blood or legally related, although we are her next of kin."

"Oh okay, she had some ID on her that stated you as her next of kin, because of the name being the same we just assumed you were her parents."

"Its fine, I just thought I should let you know, you said she was arrested for car theft."

"Yes, she was arrested as a passenger in a stolen vehicle."

"Has she been charged?"

"No not as yet, look I don't know what the situation is here, but she is in a bit of a state."

"In what way?"

"She looks like she hasn't eaten for a couple of weeks, she has multiple injuries."

"What sort of injuries?" Boyd asked even though he knew what the answer would be.

"I'm not a Dr but they look like self-inflicted injuries."

"Has she been seen by a Dr?"

"No, we have been waiting for the on call Dr to arrive."

"Okay, anything else?"

"No, just that she looks and smells as though she's been living rough, as though she hasn't had a change of clothes or a bath for weeks, she hasn't spoken since we brought her in, we got your details from a card in her pocket, as she was only the passenger in the car we're happy not to take this any further, if we can release her into your care."

"Yes you can, can we see her?" Grace now spoke.

The policeman nodded his head "If you'd like to come with me," he showed them through to the cells, and opened a cell door, Jess was sat in the corner on the floor with her back against the wall, just as she had been the first time they had interviewed her all those months ago. She was as the officer had described, filthy and smelled awful, she looked terribly thin, as if she hadn't eaten for weeks.

Grace stooped down and called her name, "Jessica?" But she didn't respond to her, "It's time to go home Jessica" Grace held out her hand and Jess took it, following Grace to the car, and getting in the back. They drove her home, but she never said a word the entire journey, once at home Grace guided her upstairs to the bathroom.

"Where have you been Jess, you've been missing for weeks?" Grace continuously spoke to her but got no response, Peter sent Mel home and stayed at home with Grace, he made a cup of tea for Jess and took it up to the bathroom.

Grace ran a bath for her, but she just sat on the floor again. "Come on Jess we need to get you out of those clothes" she helped her to her feet, and then undressed her, she put the clothes in a bin bag and gave them to Peter to throw away, then helped her into the bath, Jess seemed to have lost touch with reality, she wouldn't or couldn't speak or do anything for herself, Grace had to stay with her whilst she was in the bath. Jess just sat in the water, in the end Grace picked up a sponge and some body wash and began to wash Jess, she was covered in sores, self-harm injuries, bruises, and some injuries that looked like bite marks, a couple of her wounds looked infected. Grace washed her carefully, and then washed her hair, it took a couple of washes to get it clean, and it was matted together where it hadn't been combed for so long. Grace noticed bruises on Jess's wrists that looked as if she had been held down in some way, but she couldn't get any answers, or anything at all from her.

Once she was clean Grace got her out of the bath and wrapped a towel around her, Jess's ribs were very visible through her skin were she hadn't eaten, Grace dried her carefully and then helped her into a pair of pyjamas, luckily she hadn't taken everything to the therapeutic community with her, she still had some clothes in her room. She drank the tea that Peter had made for her, and then followed Grace downstairs, she sat on the sofa.

She hadn't been sat there long when she made a noise and slumped onto her side, she began convulsing on the sofa, it was something they had both seen before, and Grace dealt with it whilst Peter took care of Zoe as she too was now screaming for attention.

Grace laid Jess on her side once she had stopped fitting, she placed a cushion under her head gently, and then sat with her, whilst Peter sat feeding Zoe. "What's going on with her Grace?"

"I have no idea, she's in some kind of catatonic state, she's unresponsive to everything, and I had to bath her like a baby, undress her, wash her, and dry her."

"What could make her go like that?"

"Post-traumatic stress disorder is a possibility, after everything she has been through I would say it's the most likely explanation."

"So what can we do?"

Just then Jess began to wake up, moaning in her sleep as she did so, "Shush, it's okay." Grace said to her, trying to keep her calm and reassure her, gently touching her face and moving her hair away from her eyes.

As she woke up she made eye contact with Grace for the first time since they'd found her, she mouthed the word Grace as she looked at her, and then started to cry. Grace knelt down beside the sofa, and as she had done many times now, she held Jess in her arms as she cried, god knows where she had been and what she had been doing, there would be time to ask later, right now she needed comforting, not questions.

"It's all okay Jess, you're home now."


	6. Filling in the Gaps

**Filling In The Gaps**

Jess cried for some time, and when she stopped crying, she just sat on the sofa and stared into space. Grace sat and pulled a comb through her hair, gently removing the tangles, every now and again Jess let out a small cry where the knots were so bad.

"Are you hungry?" Grace asked her, but she just shrugged her shoulders, "When did you last eat?"

"I don't know."

"You look as though you haven't eaten in weeks, and what about your medication, have you been taking that?"

"No."

"Jess you know you can't stop taking your epilepsy medicine, have you had many seizures?"

"A few."

"Where have you been?"

Jess started to sniff as though she was going to cry again.

"Jess we need to know where you've been and what's been going on." Peter interrupted

"I don't really know what happened."

"What do you mean, you can't remember?"

"Yeah I can remember, but everything just went out of control."

"Why did you run away from the therapeutic Community?"

"I was home sick, I missed you and Boyd so much I felt sick, so I left early in the morning, something was being delivered, and I slipped out at the same time."

"So why didn't you come home?"

"When I got back to London, after all that time sat thinking about things on the train, I felt really stupid, pathetic, a woman of my age being home sick, and this had only been my home for six months, I couldn't face coming here."

"Where did you go?"

"The first night I just wondered around, I didn't sleep I just walked around the west end, it felt safe because there were so many people around, the next morning I went to draw some money out of the cash point, but as I was about to pull my wallet out of my bag someone nicked my bag, I lost my phone, my wallet, my medication, everything I had, the only thing I had left was the clothes I was standing in, I had an ID card in my pocket, I kept it there all the time, it had your details on it." She said looking at Boyd.

"Why wasn't it in your wallet?" Grace asked her.

"Boyd told me to always keep something with my name on it in my pocket in case I lost my bag or wallet and had a seizure."

"Ah, so you do listen sometimes then." He smiled at her.

She gave him a small smile back, "What happened after that?" Grace asked her.

"I just hung around the west end, then I met this guy called Harris, he was about my age, he saw me sleeping rough a few times and said he knew a place I could stay, I thought he meant a hostel, so I went with him, but when we got there it was a squat, full of junkies, I said I wasn't interested at first but after a couple of more nights sleeping, or rather not sleeping, in a shop doorway, I gave in and went back, I found Harris and he let me into the room he used, there was no water or electricity, no locks on the doors, I found this walk in wardrobe in this room and slept in that, I kept the door shut, but I was terrified that someone would set fire to the house, or one of the junkies would drop a lit cigarette, everyone was off their face all the time."

"Were you?" Peter asked her softly.

"What?"

"Were you off your face, were you using drugs Jess?"

"No, Boyd you know I'm not into that sort of stuff."

"Yeah but out there things change, people change, how do you survive living like that and not being off your face."

Jess just shrugged her shoulders "We won't be angry Jess we just want to know the truth."

"I didn't" she paused for a moment before continuing, thinking about what she was about to say, "I didn't inject anything, I smoked some weed, did some cocaine and pills, but I didn't inject anything."

"Were you drinking alcohol too?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry; I just wanted to survive out there, like you said Boyd, how you get by if you're not off your face."

"What else?"

"What do you mean?"

"What else happened, we need to know the truth, all of it?"

"I'm not proud of the things that happened whilst I was living like that, but they happened I can't take them back."

"Like what?"

Jess refused to make eye contact with either of them, looking around the room, her eyes not settling on anything, she put her hand on her forehead, "I didn't do..." she started to fidget unable to continue talking, she pressed her lips tightly together, trying to stop herself crying "Stuff happened, I didn't realise what was going on."

"Did someone do something against your will?"

"No, I was sort of willing, I'm just not sure I would have been willing if it wasn't for the drugs and alcohol, and my state of mind, I didn't consent, but I didn't say no either, I was incapable of making a decision."

"Were you doing it for money?"

"No, but Harris was taking money, he was getting me off my face and then letting people in, half the time I didn't even realise what I'd done until it was over."

"Is that where the marks came from, the bite marks, and the marks on your wrists?"

"Yeah."

"And the self harm?"

"I felt so disgusted with myself, when I was able to think straight I just wanted to hurt myself."

"Jess did they use protection?"

"I don't know Grace, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, we can sort everything."

"Anything else?" Boyd's voice was starting to sound irate, Jess shook her head at him, "So that's it, drugs, alcohol, prostitution, car theft, anything else you want to add to the fucking list Jess, we have been searching the fucking streets for you, going out of our minds with worry, maybe you want to add some street crime, muggings, hey lets go the whole hog and add murder to the equation, oh and then there's a chance you might be pregnant again."

Jess cowered away from him.

"Peter stop it, this isn't helping." Grace tried to reason with him.

"Maybe it's helping me." He grabbed Jess by her shoulders and shouted at her, "You stupid, stupid idiot, do you realise what could have happened to you, do you have any idea how worried we have been?"

Jess started to cry.

"Don't cry Jess, I'm not going to hurt you, for god's sake I would never hurt you, come here," he pulled her close to him and held onto her and once again she sobbed uncontrollably.


	7. Damage Limitation

**Damage Limitation**

Once things had calmed down, Grace went to the kitchen and returned with a first aid kit and a bowl, "Jess some of those wounds look infected, I need to clean them up and dress them for you."

"They're fine Grace."

"No they're not, take your top off please?" Jess looked at Peter sat in the arm chair, "You can keep you pyjama top over your front, I just need to get to the wounds" Grace poured an iodine solution into a bowl and put on some gloves, she dipped some cotton wool into the liquid, Jess turned around to reveal some wounds on her back, and as Grace dabbed them with iodine she nearly jumped through the roof.

"Argh, for fucks sake Grace, that really hurts" she stood up and walked away keeping her top over her front half.

"Oy, mind your language" Grace said to her, "And sit down, you bloody big baby."

"No way, that hurts like hell." She replied whilst hopping around and trying to get her hand up her back to wipe it off

"It has to be done Jess."

"No Grace, you're not putting any more of that on me."

Peter looked at Grace, and she nodded at him, he stood up and approached Jess, "Come here" he said gently, he put his arms around her, and then held her tightly so she couldn't move.

Grace stood up and continued to dab the iodine on her injuries, she again screamed, "argh, Grace don't, that really hurts, argh." She squirmed in his arms trying to break free from his grip.

"Jess shut up, you'll wake the baby up."

"No I won't shut up until you stop."

"Turn around I need to look at the front."

"No, get off me." Peter turned her around, holding her still again, as Grace looked at some bite marks on her neck. "Argh" she cried out again, this time the shouts of pain turned into tears, and she started to cry as Grace continued.

"Stop it Jess, stop crying." Peter said whilst holding her still.

"Well stop bloody torturing me then." She said through sobs, her top falling away from her skin and leaving her top half naked, she tried to grab for it but couldn't reach.

"Leave it, it doesn't matter, I can't see anything anyway." looking away to save her blushes

Once Grace had finished cleaning the wounds on her torso, she let Jess put her top back on, "Just your arms to go." Jess walked away.

"No way, I've had enough; I don't want any more of that stuff on me."

"Jess come here?" Peter grabbed hold of her, he put his arms around her again, and told her to put her arms around him so that they were behind his back, "Okay Grace start when you're ready." Jess sobbed into his shirt the entire time Grace was cleaning her arms, she had to remove some grit and dirt from the self-harm injuries using some tweezers, and Jess screamed as she did so, she cleaned them with the iodine, along with the restraint marks on her wrists, and then bandaged her arms to keep them clean, once she'd finished, Peter continued to hold her until she stopped crying, rubbing his hand on her back, and trying to soothe her, "It's all finished now okay, it's all done."

Once she'd calmed down again, Grace gave her some pain killers, and she lay down on the sofa and drifted off to sleep. Grace knew it must have been bloody painful, putting iodine on open sores, but she had to do it, to get them clean, they could see a doctor on Monday, but they needed to look after her over the weekend, and it was a case of being cruel to be kind.

Grace sat with her on the sofa until she was asleep, then she got up and sat with Peter in an arm chair, sitting on his lap, loving the feeling of being in his arms, without the stress of worrying about Jess that they had been living with for the last five weeks. They sat and chatted quietly, so as not to wake her up, their hands linked together, talking about the future and where they went from here, they knew Jess would have to go to a sexual health clinic, she had no idea who she'd had sex with, or whether they had taken precautions, she could have any manor of infection, she could also be pregnant again, and they needed to get things sorted as soon as possible.

By the time Jess woke up again, Grace was sat alone in the chair feeding Zoe, Jess looked over to her and smiled, "It suits you Grace."

"What does?"

"Motherhood."

Grace smiled at her "Are you okay with this? Us playing happy families with the little girl you gave birth to."

"Yeah, how's she doing?"

"Really well, she's put on 2lbs in weight; the midwife says she's doing really well."

"How's Boyd coping with fatherhood?"

"It was a bit tough on him to start with, he wouldn't pick her up for the first few days, but he got over it, when Emma died Peter had been the one who'd put her down to sleep, he blamed himself, even though it was nothing to do with him. But now she's a little daddy's girl, aren't you" Grace said smiling at Zoe whilst she was sucking on her bottle.

"She looks well."

"Jess I know it's changing the subject, but I need to talk to you about something."

"I've told you everything Grace."

"It's not that, I want you to go to a sexual health clinic, you need to be tested for STI's, and you also need to take a pregnancy test."

"What if I don't want to go?"

"Why wouldn't you?" Jess didn't reply, "Untreated infections can cause serious health problems Jess, it's better to get them treated now."

"But I may not have anything."

"You have no idea whether anyone you had sex with used a condom, the chances are that they didn't, which leaves you at risk of infection and or pregnancy, you need to be sensible about this" she again didn't answer. "What's the problem?"

"I don't want to be examined." She said quietly

"What?"

"I don't want to be examined Grace."

"You mean intimately?"

"Yes."

"It's just a swab Jess, it takes a few minutes."

"I can't."

"Jess you've had a baby, you were examined then."

"Not until I was in labour, and by then I was on enough gas and air to lift a hot air balloon off the ground."

"What about all the appointments you had before then?"

"I never went to them; I couldn't bare someone touching me like that."

"You need to get over it Jess, this is important, it's for your health, you've been working as a prostitute."

"That's not fair Grace, I was being drugged and used, and I wasn't capable of making a decision."

"You could have come home Jess."

"Thanks, that really helps." Jess got up from the sofa and walked through to the kitchen, Grace followed her, continuing to feed Zoe as she did so.

"I'm just trying to make you see sense; you need to take responsibility for this. It's a simple test that could prevent a lot of problems in the future." For the first time Grace actually shouted at her

Jess looked stunned, "I'm scared Grace." She shouted back at her.

"I know, and I'm sorry, I just want you to see sense, you can't just ignore things and hope that they will go away, they won't, it will just get worse, and it's no different from having a smear test."

"I've never had a smear test either."

"I'll come with you, it will be okay." Grace put Zoe's bottle down as it was empty; she moved the baby up onto her shoulder and pulled Jess into a hug.

Jess slept on the sofa that night, it was where she felt comfortable, but she was woken up at around 3am, when Peter came downstairs to get a drink, he was wearing his pyjama bottoms and a t-shirt, something he only did when Jess was living with them, he usually slept in the nude, and wasn't shy about walking around naked if it was just him and Grace.

Jess followed him into the kitchen, "Hey you okay?" She asked him

"Yeah, just wanted a drink, I think I'm getting a cold, I've got a bloody sore throat. You okay?"

"Yeah, I just wondered what the noise was."

Peter poured himself an orange juice, "You want one?" he said shaking the carton at her

"Nah I'm okay thanks."

He sat at the kitchen table and indicated for her to sit down with him, "How are your sores?"

"Not too bad, they still hurt a bit."

"Yeah but it's for your own good, you don't want them getting any worse."

"Yeah I know." She said, her voice sounding tearful, as he looked at her he could see tears trickling down her face, "Sorry, I'm just a bit all over the place."

Peter reached over to her and placed his hand on the back of her neck affectionately, he pulled her head to his shoulder to comfort her, Jess looked up at him as he did so, under the table she moved her hand to his groin area whilst leaning forward and kissing him.

Peter jumped up and away from the table instantly, "What the bloody hell are you doing?"

Jess looked at him confused "What?"

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" he said raising his voice.

"I'm sorry I just misread the signals."

"What signals, Jess, you're like a daughter to me, I also happen to be happily married, very happily married." Jess went to speak again, but he put his hand up to stop her, and walked away from her.


End file.
